


Heartache

by ThereIsNoTragedyInThat



Series: Where The Heart Is [1]
Category: Captain Marvel (2019)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Goodbyes, Parent Maria Rambeau, Short & Sweet, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:27:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27054166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThereIsNoTragedyInThat/pseuds/ThereIsNoTragedyInThat
Summary: Carol knows she can't stay in Maria's arms forever, but that doesn't stop her from dreaming.
Relationships: Carol Danvers/Maria Rambeau
Series: Where The Heart Is [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1974517
Comments: 8
Kudos: 27





	Heartache

It was quiet here. Peaceful.

The window was open just a crack, letting in a lazy breeze and the soft sound of crickets hiding in the long blades of grass. The clouds were rolling in, thick, heavy things promising a hard rain and an even better storm, almost close enough to block out the meager light of the too bright moon.

Carol found herself transfixed, inhaling deeply and trying to commit to memory the fresh air and soil…inherently earthly scents. The comforter was thrown haphazardly over her body, doing little to cover her nakedness, more there for propriety sake in case Monica decided to pay them a visit in the night.

This too she wanted to remember.

Familiar hands ran through her hair, familiar lips pressed kisses along her shoulder, a familiar body warmed her. Carol didn’t dare look behind her, couldn’t bear to do anything but squeeze the hand wrapped around her waist. They were as close as they could be, not an inch of space between them, legs entangled and chests rising and falling as one.

Tears pricked her eyes.

“I love you,” Maria murmured. “I love you.”

The emptiness in her chest seemed to gape, her heart already being torn from her body, because this would not last, could not last, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“I have to be. I never wanted to hurt you.”

A sigh, soft and a little exasperated as Maria ran her lips along the shell of Carol’s ear, making her shiver, “this doesn’t hurt that bad.”

“Maria…”

“Shh,” she tightened her arm around her, holding her impossibly closer. “Thinking, wondering if you were dead for all these years-” a shuddering breath. “That hurt, that felt like drowning, like I couldn’t catch my breath and some days I was so angry, so mad with it that I could have given up completely, if it wasn’t for Monica.”

Carol clenched her eyes closed but the tears slipped out anyway, snaking their way down her cheeks.

“That hurt. This, knowing you are doing something good and you are alive, this will be fine. We will be fine.”

Carol believed her, because she never lied, she was painfully honest and told her exactly how she felt always. It was one of the reasons she loved her so damned much…but she couldn’t help wondering how exactly she, herself would handle this. The first time, to her infinite shame, she hadn’t remembered them and hadn’t suffered the pain of separation. This time, she would have every memory, every moment of their life together, of the things they could have done.

“I could stay,” she whispered.

The hand in her hair stopped and a moment later she was being turned onto her back and there was Maria, hovering over her, half smile on her lips, shaking her head. It had been a stupid suggestion, she knew that, and with a wet laugh, Carol wiped her tears.

Maria reached up to help only to leave her hand there, caressing her face, “you would hate yourself if you stayed, eventually you’d even resent us, me, Monica. I don’t want that for you, there is too much good you could do Carol.”

She wanted to argue, wanted to tell her that she didn’t give two shits about all those other planets, not when her entire future, her past, her heart was tucked away right here in this creaky little home, with the woman she loved and the child that felt like her own.

But it was pointless.

One day, whenever the next power hungry maniac got tired of those worlds, they might set their sights on earth, and Carol would rather do everything in her power to make sure earth never even made it on the map for them. She had to keep her family safe.

Maria must have seen it in her eyes because her smile turned a little shaky, “what’s a little heartbreak compared to the safety of the whole universe?”

“I would do anything,” Carol murmured, heart in her throat. “To take away the pain.”

Maria narrowed her eyes, her expression filled with an intensity that made Carol smile widely. There was no denying the love in her eyes, the determination as she lowered her head until they met in the middle, eyes closed, breathing gently against one another.

“Don’t you dare. I want every second you give me, painful or not, I want all of it. If I ever catch wind of you concocting some bullshit to make me forget, there will be hell to pay Carol.”

She was tempted, just for a moment to tease her, to tell her she’d been watching too many sci-fi shows these days but Carol heard the undercurrent of genuine fear, could feel the way her hands held her just a little more tightly.

Closing that small space between them, Carol kissed her firmly, let her lick into her mouth with long familiarity. There was a long moment where it seemed they would never want to part, that they could stay like that, as one for eternity…but as always, time was too short.

Maria pulled away and Carol met her eyes, “I would never.”

She wouldn’t. As much as she wished she could spare Maria this pain, she wouldn’t have ever wanted to forget, if she could have changed it, she wished she’d been strong enough to hold on to them no matter what.

Maria nodded, offered her another small smile, “just promise to visit when you can, alright?”

“Of course. Every chance I get.”

Carol didn’t say it but she hated the thought of Maria waiting for her, spending her days and nights looking up at the sky, with Monica by her side, eyes catching on every shooting star and flash of light. It seemed almost a fate worse than death, to never really know and yet, she knew there was no part of her that could stay away for long.

Here, in Maria’s arms, she was home, this was where her heart would stay and sometimes, she would need the reminder. Carol already knew that she would spend her days counting down the seconds until she could be back in Maria’s arms.

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing these two, let me know what you think!


End file.
